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I cried ugly 8 times at Kingdom Hearts

SPOILER WARNING! In the article below, Stuart discusses some pretty hefty spoilers as he takes us on an emotional and tearful Kingdom Hearts journey. If you haven’t played the games and are sensitive to spoilers, we recommend that you come back in about a year after you’ve played the lot. Otherwise, be warned that certain unfortunate events will be discussed in detail.

Of course, if you haven’t played the games before, this won’t make any sense, but you have been warned!

You see, I am aware that a feature like this is systematically destroying my previously unassailable credibility in the gaming industry. But there will come a time, my friends. There comes a time!

I fucking love Kingdom Hearts. The series is stupid as a brush, but what would we be without a brush? Fences would be unpainted, hair would be neglected, mascara would be applied randomly! …

I’m not sure where to go with this. the point is, My emotional bond with Square-Enix’s insanely Disney-insane series of action RPGs is damn strong, and there have been instances where I admit I might have been close to shedding a tear or two. Okay, full ugly crying. Phlegm and tears, maybe even a little blood. I said it was ugly.

With the announcement that the Switch is getting cloud versions of the Kingdom Hearts series, causing a flurry of ugly crying – Why not port the PS3 versions ?! – this seems like a good time to bring up this frankly embarrassing list of eight times playing a Kingdom Hearts game that made me cry like a baby at a scary wedding.

Kingdom Hearts (2002): Sora’s Heartless

Well, of course I had to open it with that. Since the final keyhole in Hollow Bastion is still incomplete and Kairi is in a marginally comatose state and her heart has been transferred into Sora herself, the spiky protagonist naturally uses Ansem’s keyblade to PICK HER HEART, freeing Kairi’s own and her brings you back to consciousness and at the same time transforms him into one of the admittedly cute little heartless creatures.

A selfless sacrifice and although, yes, it is undone relatively quickly, it is still a powerful moment in a row that is stacked with them.

This guy
This guy (Image: Square Enix / Disney / Nintendo)

Kingdom Hearts (2002): Enter the Club Leader

Appearance! It is in! At the very end of the original Kingdom Hearts, after your hard-fought battle with Ansem, which was supposed to make a first appearance, but Walt Disney’s beloved vermin Michael Mouse.

The debut of King Mickey (because he is) emerged in a silhouette of brilliant light, is a milestone in the series and evokes beautiful gaming memories such as Castle of Illusion, Magical Quest and – of course – Kid Klown in Night Mayor World (Look it up).

Cynicism aside, the glorious, magical hegemony of Walt Disney’s masterpiece Mickey Mouse is truly a wonderful moment in a game that seems to be made of stardust, candy and pretty girl kisses. Joyful mouse-based victory.

Kingdom Hearts II (2005): The Fate of Roxas

Oh, this one stings. Oh it is Bad. And when it was released it was completely without context – the game that explains (almost) everything, Kingdom Hearts 358/2 Days, was only just released four years later, the Twilight Town prologue of Kingdom Hearts 2, previously largely pilloried, completely redesigned as the absolute brutal cast brass tragedy that it actually is.

The gradual destruction of the fake existence of Roxas, the shift from the border utopia to a terrifying limbo and – ultimately – the discovery of Sora, which leads to the heartbreaking proclamation of his nobody that his “summer vacation” is over. what he means its existence. SOB.

Kingdom Hearts II (2005): Goofy f ***** g dies

Shortly before the most epic mass battle in Kingdom Hearts II, Goofy – yes, Disney’s weird stumbling block – is hit in the head with a rock and dies.

Yes, he will be killed. He suffers massive brain trauma and is instantly wiped out. Sora and Donald fall into fits of guilt and fear because of this most senseless murder, while the current King Mickey only clenches his fist and announces “You will pay for it.”

Yeah, it’s hilarious, but think of it this way – who’s going to get the news to Max? Roxanne squeezes his hand while he intones sadly “Gawrsh”

No, no, I’m fine. Not wrong with me. (sniff)

Kingdom Hearts II (2005): Sora leaves Twilight Town

Look … Kingdom Hearts II is really heartbreaking, okay? It’s basically the gist of the whole series. Multiple games revolve around its story, and it pays off having so many emotional avenues started – confusing enough – Titles that came out later.

Again, you won’t get the full effect of this scene until you’ve played (or seen) 358/2 Days, but a familiar nostalgia still grabs you when you leave this town. Sora feels it too – feels some He doesn’t know yet, is Roxas’ unknown, unnoticed agony over his simple habit of existing, which wells up in Sora and manifests as a single, inexplicable tear.

Roxas’ friends Hayner, Pence and Olette watch the train pull out of the station and take away the last of their forgotten friend. And they long for something, but they never know what.

WAAAAAAAAAAAA. (Blows noises with comedic honking)

Kingdom Hearts 358/2 Days (2009): Sea Salt Ice Cream

Kingdom Hearts 358/2 Days, the most underrated game in the series, is a tragic story of futility and delusion in which a protagonist believes he is something he is not and believes he is is not something he is very much.

Said that he is incapable of emotions – although he shows them clearly throughout the adventure – Roxas is a nobody, the mere shadow of a real hero. But he is so much more than that, and the mundane nature of his existence and the extent to which he has been a victim of abuse and gaslighting make his relationship with the other members of Organization XIII, Axel and Xion, all the more important.

The closest he comes to conventional friendship is when he sits on the clock tower of Twilight Town in the afternoon and eats sea salt ice cream. And when his friend Xion ultimately turns out to be another ruse – another gruesome twist – he is forced to fight her. In a much derided scene, often taken out of context, he laments his fallen friend with a confused, broken, “Who am I going to have ice cream with !?” Superficially laughable, but after 30 hours of this dynamic you know it the only frame of reference for “friendship” is that he has. And boy, boy, does it hurt

Kingdom Hearts: Birth by Sleep (2010): “Put an end to me.”

Torn between the inevitability of his fate and his desire to protect his friends Terra and Aqua, the sweet, naive young Ventus shakes off the comforts and platitudes of his peers and immediately proclaims his desire to die. “I ask you as a friend. Just break up with me. “

There are a surprising number of suicide themes in the Kingdom Hearts franchise, but never are they brought to the fore as directly as here in this humble PSP prequel. It’s a bit of a deep charge, and it’s certainly the most troubling moment in the series’ history.

Kingdom Hearts III (2019): When it was announced

God, how long has it been since Kingdom Hearts 2? Announced in 2013 – eight years after its direct predecessor – it took another six years for Kingdom Hearts III to actually be released. And while your mileage may vary, it didn’t disappoint, featuring a truly epic new series of Disney worlds, beautiful, emotional story hooks, long-term payouts and repayments, and of course, the start of something even crazier in the next step in Kingdom Hearts Series – a series that is often made fun of for having a ridiculous, convoluted plot.

And it does. And I wouldn’t have it any other way. Did you memorize it?

All of these moments and more will be enjoyed by Switch owners once the controversial cloud version of the mainline games hits Switch soon. Let us know which of these moments you blew into your controller below, and which ones you would add to your personal list of KH tear hunters.

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